WW3 and bathroom remodeling problems.

World War 3 and copper bathroom faucets

World War 3 has broken out and there is a "level 4" heat wave that is grilling the entire Mediterranean. Mom and Dad are lying around like corpses in the two air-conditioned rooms of the apartment. They trade insults all day while bombs explode on CNN. What's really making them mad isn't that there's a war going on. No, what's really upsetting Mom and Dad is that the special "antique finish" copper faucets are being delayed another month in production in the US and that their crazy copper bathroom won't get finished this summer.

The mood in Nice, France, Europe is bleak with only one bathroom. Mom can't stand it when guests come over for dinner parties and go and sit on her toilet. It makes her crazy. I don't get it. I like peeing where everybody else pees. I always look for the most peed-on spot on a tree or garbage can and I hit it as high as I can. All Mom has to do is pee right after her dinner guests and the bathroom is her bathroom again. It's really simple but she doesn't get it.

Mom: "When is this bathroom going to get done? Did you ASK the guy when the faucets are coming?"

Dad: "I did! He said he has no idea, I told you before. Just relax."

Mom: "NO IDEA? What does THAT mean? A year? I love the way you're telling ME to relax. They can't start the tileing or put in the sink until we have the faucets! What's wrong with France? Why don't they make copper faucets to go with copper tubs? In the meantime, we only have one toilet. What if it breaks down?"

Mom and Dad bought a crazy giant copper bathtub that was hand-beaten in Morocco. It looks like an enormous, burned out cauldron on lion's feet and it's sitting in the middle of the entrance. I don't know what's so great about anything hand-beaten. I was hand-beaten in San Pedro before I got thrown into the pound. Dad says everything in Morocco is hand-beaten...even the wives.

There are piles of black slate all over the floor, waiting to be installed right after the bathtub. The renovation isn't going well because all French workers take off the entire month of August. That means that if the faucets don't get here really soon, the whole project is put off until later in the year.

Finley keeps going into the torn up bathroom and pooping in there. I guess she's trying to make a point.

Mom is also furious with the neighbors upstairs because they told her she can't have flowers on the balconies.

Mom: "Who the fuck does this French cow thinks she is, telling me I can't put a couple of flower pots on MY balconies?"

Dad: "I don't want to get into a law suit with them that's going to cost me thousands of Euros over a couple of flower pots. We have a huge garden in LA. But I don't like the fact that they think they can tell us what to do. That's France. There's always somebody fucking with you. They're always needling you about some bullshit."

Mom: "I'm just going to call her and tell her that my flowers are better than the alternatives: a giant American flag in every window. Or I'll buy a beat-up 400 Euro truck that I'll park right in front of the door. Fuck her. I'll put giant posters of George Bush in my balconies. The nerve of her telling me it's not pretty. What's not pretty is her fat ass in the lobby!"

I'm worried about Israel and Lebanon. The people and dogs must be really scared and I just know that there are some stuck in the rubble. People can be way dumber than dogs sometimes.

I just hope that those special antique copper faucets get here before the war is over
or Mom might send a Zilzal long range missile straight to Snyder Diamond (the bathroom remodel joint) in Los Angeles. I'm sure those missiles cost less than the stupid Moroccan bathtub did.

Mulling over Pie Video offers in Nice, France, Europe

Mom won't eat pies on camera!

Mom has been getting the greatest job offers ever. I don't understand why she won't do it. People and dogs are starving all over the world and would DIE to get pies thrown directly at them. Mom's getting offered a lot of money to get pies and she won't get pied in front of a camera for some crazy reason I can't figure out.

That Ann Coulter woman that Dad hates so much got pied and she actually got mad about it! What is wrong with people? Pies are absolutely delicious.

I got a copy of her correspondence with the Pie Guy. If only I could meet this Pie Guy, I could maybe help out in the negotiating. Mom is absolutely nuts not to do this. She thinks it will sink her career. Don't tell anybody but it's already sunk, even before her fourth of July appearance of the Bold and the Beautiful. Mom is so stubborn. Once she's got her mind made up, there isn't much anyone can do.

I MUST convince her to take this job and bring me with her to the set.


Here is the e-mail correspondence between Pie Guy and Mom:

Hi Carole

I make amateur pie in the face videos and my friend makes amateur water videos

I was wondering if you would like to be in them this November 2006 in Florida

My site is http://www.pievids.com/ and my friends is http://www.traciez.com/

If interested let me know. You would not have to get topless or nude if you choose not to do that

Len Sorge


Hi Len,
I'm flattered really, but your websites say it's adult. I don't do that sort of thing. No offense. Thanks for thinking of me though!
Carole


Hi Carole

WEll most of my models do Adult stuff but you wont have to

I just want you in 3 stooges type pie fights and my friend in underwater/wetlook scenes

You don't even have to do topless if you don't want to

Len Sorge
http://www.pievids.com/


I'm laughing at your reply. Out of curiosity, what does one get paid for a 3 stooges pie fight (fully clothed)? And who are the Stooges? And who gets pied?

Hi Carole

I would pay you $750-$1000 per day of shooting

: You never heard of the 3 stooges? They were a comedy team in the 1930-60's who did a lot of comedy short films for Columbia studios and are associated with pie throwing

BTW have you ever had a pie in the face

LEn Sorge

I do not do IM. I'm working right now. But I know who the stooges are of course. I was asking who PLAYS them.


I was looking at your site. You want to shoot me with pies with porn actresses?

Hi Carole

No your scenes would be solo and with other glamour models No porn stuff I PROMISE you that

I have done Walt Disney to Deep Throat kind of pie scenes

They are based on what the model is comfortable doing

I know you are a mainstream actress and I would NEVER ask you to do anything risque

BTW ever have a pie in the face?

Len SOrge

PS I loved your scene in Sex in the City You smoke great with a holder



Hi Carole

Just tell me how much you want to do a day shooting with my site and mmy friends site

If you choose to decline I understand but I am willing to hear what price you want

Len Sorge
http://www.pievids.com/
http://www.traciez.com/

What is my future in pie videos?

In a message dated 6/27/2006 3:42:36 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time, Delsan61 writes:
Hi Carole

Just tell me how much you want to do a day shooting with my site and mmy friends site

If you choose to decline I understand but I am willing to hear what price you want

Len Sorge
http://www.pievids.com/
www.traciez.com

See Shrimp on the Barbie. I have a pie scene and Emma Samms tried to break my nose.


Hi Carole

Just wanted to know if you are interested in doing them and how much you want a day

You don't have to get topless or nude and most scenes will be solo and a few with other models

And again thanks for taking my emails regardless of you decision you have been nice to me

Lenny Sorge
www.pievids.com


OK, make me an offer.


Hi Carole

$2000-2500 for the day depending on how many pie scenes. I will give you $500 a scene more if you get topless.

Len Sorge


Hi Carole

probably 4-5 scenes per day

Len Sorge

How much would topless cost? I am afraid to find out LOL LOL


Just wondering; do you do mastectomy pie vids? Because I have this gorgeous friend who just got cancer and she might be interested.
-----Original Message-----From: Delsan61@aol.comTo: CDavis6029@aol.comSent: Fri, 30 Jun 2006 4:36:04 AM Eastern Daylight TimeSubject: Re: Pie and Water Videos in FL in Nov


Hi Carole

Happy holiday!!!

So have you decided if you want to do my pie videos?

Len Sorge
www.pievids.com