Monday, June 06, 2011

Watching Paris Hilton is Like Watching Flies On Turd, Says Ex Pound Dog

Paris Hilton: Buying live animals and wearing dead ones. So not hot.

Watching Paris Hilton's new show, "The World According to Paris Hilton" is about as boring as watching flies buzz around a dog poop. The humans who watched that flop are no different than those flies--all 400,000 of them. She doesn't have the class of a city like Paris. She's barely Burbank Hilton. In fact, she's no Hilton either---she's more like Burbank Days Inn.

Just look at this pathetic picture of her with her genetic disaster of a horse. I feel sorry for this miniaturized horse. He was bred and sold to satisfy dummies who like to throw away money more than they like horses. This sad little horse is now forced to hang around under hot lights with celebritard Paris Hilton and her over-paid crew of human parasites. Is Paris going to neglect this horse like she did the Chihuahua who died in her closet? Or like the cat she never picked up from the hospital and abandoned?

I hope her miniature horse pees in her Louboutin shoes. May her underwear be invaded by 10,000 ticks.

And what the hell is she wearing around her neck? Is that a dead coyote, or is it one of those unlabeled Korean fur collars you find in Beverly Hills that is actually a dead dog? (Maybe she was too busy shopping to read about the new Truth in Fur Labeling Act signed by President Obama that went into effect in March.) Newsflash, Paris: people who love animals don't wear them.

On The View, Paris and her Mom (who looks like a ginormous wax tchotchke), sounded like a couple of runny-nosed whine-up dolls. Showing her talent for reciting a sentence written for her by someone  sober, Paris said, "This show is more different than anything on TV. The show shows a lot more than just shopping. It shows everything involved."

"Everything involved?" With what? Shopping?  And for what? More dogs and pink Bentleys and furs?  I guess she doesn't notice all the homeless people and homeless dogs begging for food in L.A...she just drives by in her pink Bentley on the way to...more shopping. That's so hot.

She says she loves Chihuahuas but let me tell you something I know a lot about because I'm part Chihuahua and an ex death row dog myself: people who love dogs don't buy them like she does. People who love animals rescue them. She has 17 unfixed dogs that she breeds "to give away as gifts." That makes me, an ex-pound dog, really mad because millions of us get killed at the pound every year. Are rescued Chihuahuas not good enough for her? Doesn't she understand that if you don't fix 17 dogs and let them mate that she will be breeding dogs with congenital malformations and diseases? She does not have a breeder's license and when Los Angeles Animal Services went to check up on her non-compliance, she was "away on vacation." She is breaking the law.
"Paris Hilton is a celebritard, "says Jinky, dog of a Hollywood wife

The judge who condemned Paris should have forced her to "perform" her community service at the South L.A. pound where they kill tens of thousands of dogs a year, many of them Chihuahuas. Maybe if she had done her drunk driving penance there she would have actually felt something. That is, if she is capable of feeling anything for anyone but herself.  I know she can feel the stinging shame of not being "hot" enough to grab more than 409,000 viewers for her new show.

According to me, Jinky, I give Paris' show one lifted leg. It seems "the world according to Paris," revolves around a boring bitch.


Feminists March in Los Angeles No Means No!


Friday, June 03, 2011

Jack Kevorkian Was A Hero, Says Ex Pound Dog

Jack Kevorkian went bye bye today and a lot of humans don't know what a great guy he was. He was a hero and some dumb humans condemned him as a criminal. There are some really creepy humans who put Mr. Kevorkian in prison for trying to help people. I hope they understand that they did a very bad thing. Somebody should ram their noses in their own poop right now. May they be bitten by 10,000 fleas. I hope their underwear in invaded by ticks.

I wish those people thought about how terrible it would be if we dogs didn't have the right to humane euthanasia. In the end, when I can't enjoy a walk, a meal or simply enjoy sitting in the sun without being in pain, I know that it is legal to just give me shot and I can slip away peacefully, knowing that I was loved.

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