Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Santa Hates the 99%

Uh, just wondering, with all this holiday "cheer" going on, why Santa doesn't go to favellas in Brazil and kinda steers clear of Uganda and Ivory Coast and sort of avoids kids in Eritrea, Darfur and Somalia. 

I don't know, am I crazy? All this celebrating Jesus doesn't seem to bring reindeer to kids who might like to see them or any kind of presents, not even a glass of clean water. There was a sighting of a Santa in Zimbabwe but Mugabe thugs had him beaten up along with the reindeer. Rudolf got a red nose---a bloody one, and the rest were poached by American members of Safari Club International.

I think if Santa, or worse, Mrs Santa, tried to come down a chimney in Cairo, she might get stomped on and raped. If the little green elves decided to sashay into Saana, they might be executed for seeming gay. Hmm...come to think of it, elves better stay clear of Lagos too, with the new legislation that makes boys in green tights subject to a firing squad.

Christmas is just a really weird human holiday to me. Being a former death row dog gives me a different yuletide perspective. MILLIONS of dogs are locked up in puppy mills right now while their pups are loaded onto trucks for the long trip to a creepy dog dealer in a mall. 
Deck the trucks with pups and holly, Fa la la la la, la la la la. 
Puppy Mills are not so jolly. Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Millions of other dogs and cats are going to be killed at the pound because people won't come to adopt them in time for Christmas. And I don't even want to count all the ducks and pigs who are getting the worst Xmas of all--- getting carved up and served on a plate. Ew. 

It turns out that even people who seem to have everything are lonely enough to kill themselves on Christmas more than any other day. 

I sure wish everyone would do something nice for somebody this  Christmas and not depend on that fat elitist bastard who is posing as some kind of philanthropist in a red suit. Santa. What a phony. 


Sunday, December 04, 2011

I'm Dreaming of an Ethical Christmas

     Purebred puppy mill dog in Herm├Ęs Kelly Bag = $12,000

    Death row Mutt in Vegan plastic knock-off = PRICELESS

 Hi, I'm Jinky, a dog who was rescued from death row in a Los Angeles shelter so around this time of year, I'm dreaming of an ethical Christmas. 

If you want a dog or a cat or any kind of pet this holiday season, get into the real spirit of Christmas by GIVING a second chance to a homeless animal.

When you buy a dog from a pet store or Internet seller, you are only enriching animal abusers. Those dogs come from factories, or, as they are often called, puppy mills, where the parent dogs are living out their sad lives in a cage. The puppy you see on the Internet or in the pet store is the product of an incredibly cruel business---where pups are manufactured like machine parts with no regard to their well-being. The parent dogs are exposed to freezing temperatures and get no socialization. 

Don't be fooled: Just because a commercial breeder has a USDA license or breed registry "papers" doesn't mean the breeding facility is humane. If a pup is sold over the Internet or in a pet store, he is from a puppy mill and puppy mills are legal just like chicken factories are legal. To the United States Department of Agriculture, dogs are just an agricultural product. 

I think dogs deserve better. After all, we are man's best friend!

There are lots of really great dogs at the pound! It's hard to believe that all those homeless dogs and cats aren't going to have a family for Christmas unless somebody comes and adopts them. So this holiday season, go to your local rescue organization or shelter and rescue a homeless animal. Get into the holiday spirit and take the $1000 you would have spent on a dog and give it to a family in need so they can have a nice Christmas. 

Hey, if you'ld like a great, inexpensive stocking stuffer that promotes adoption and makes you laugh, I wrote a funny book and I give 100% of the profits to dogs in need.

 Click here to order my book, "The Diary of Jinky, Dog of a Hollywood Wife " from Amazon. 

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