Stop!

Mom and Dad were sitting on the couch and all of a sudden, Dad sat back, rolled his eyes up into his head and let his jaw drop.

Mom: "STOP it! Why are you making the dead face?! I can't stand it!

Dad: "I just want you to get used to it so you won't be shocked when you see the real thing."

Mom: "You're sick. You're scaring the dogs. Stop it."

I knew he was faking it. I can tell because I can see that he's laughing inside and only I can hear it. Mom gets all freaked out but as soon as he stops making dead face, she laughs like a mad woman.

Herpe-wood

For Shame!

Cat Clap is a terrible thing.

Cat Herpes! Ew!

Finley got some interesting news today from Hollywood

We got some very disturbing news about Zelda, who stayed in Hollywood while we are in Nice, France, Europe. Stupid Kitty doesn't like to fly with luggage and Mom and Dad are only allowed to carry one animal each on the plane, so she decided to stay in Hollywood with some friends.

These friends of hers are four old and debauched cats who live with a woman who calls herself "The Pissed Kitty."

So Stupid Kitty has been hanging around Pissed Kitty's party house and really raising hell over there. She's been dancing and getting high non-stop, supposedly.

Over the Christmas holiday, the Pissed Kitty woman, who is a really good friend of Mom's, had to go to Texas to visit some of her relatives. So Stupid Kitty had to crash at Chihuahua rescue for a couple of days.

Now listen to this: There is an outbreak of Kitty Herpes at the Hollywood party house and several kitties now have Herpes, including STUPID KITTY!

Stupid Kitty has allegedly been such a party animal, that she is now being blamed for bringing in a shameful venereal disease upon the Hollywood party house of Pissed Kitty.

Pissed Kitty claims it had to be Stupid Kitty's fault because her cats "never go out." Right. Like I believe that.But even if they aren't trolling outside, it's not like they don't have a bunch of wild parties over there all the time...inside. God only knows what kind of diseased and drunken street cats climb over the balcony and crawl through a crack in the wall to get a load of the steamy goings-on in that joint.

Mom has offered to pay the vet bills for all of Pissed Kitty's kitties and to rid them of this dreadful and shameful plague but there is nothing she can do about their reputations! They have HERPES!

Ew.

I don't know how I will face her when we go home to Hollywood.