Sunday, April 09, 2006

Mom is Piggybacking my Career

Today, Dad invited all the big Hollywood punch up writers to the house and only one person showed up, Ritch Shydner. The whole bunch of them were supposed to sit around the pool and read my book while they pitched jokes to make it funnier.

Dad: "Well if only one person was going to show up, at least it's the funny one. You know what? My Hollywood friends ask me to go punch up their stuff and my real friends help punch up for me and my dog."

Poor Mom and Dad. Whenever they invite people to the house, the people they invite don't show up because they find better, more important parties to go to. If they invited dogs, all the dogs would come because we're not like that. In the afternoon, Maximilian the photographer showed up and wanted me to pose standing on the Corvette. I don't really like modeling. The car was hot and it was burning my feet. Mom likes it though. She squeezed herself into a little dress and posed in contorted positions all over the car.

Maximilian: "Yes! That's it! It's SO Vanity Fair! Can you get Jinky to turn around? All we see is his ass. Can he show his face?"

Dad had to stand around in the hot sun and bribe me with a jar of peanut butter because without it, I wasn't going to cooperate. I really did it more for Mom just to give her the feeling that someone still wanted to photograph her like before I was born.

I don't think that she's using me or anything but she might be piggybacking my career at this point. Whatever makes her happy.


Blogger Pisser said...

I thought they LIKED it when all they can see is your ass...

3:09 PM  
Anonymous mlaiuppa said...

Well, if *I* were invited, not only would I show up (with my dog of course) but I'd also bring a nice something to share. Something safe for both people and dogs. Do they like seafood? Curry? Rice? My favorite dish to share is Curried Shrimp Rice salad.

It's impolite to cancel at the last minute unless you're deathly ill or someone in your close family dies.

8:08 PM  

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