La Grippe Aviaire/ French Birdy Flu

Birdy Flu in France

Birdy Flu has arrived in France. Not in Nice...yet. But Mom is pushing it by making goo goo eyes at a birdy that lives on a TV antenna outside our apartment.

The birdy flies all around the apartment looking for Mom all day long, waiting for her to give him some wild bird seeds. She's actually BUYING food for this birdy and I don't like it.

Last night on the news, they were talking about how we should all stay away from wild birdies because they might have "la Grippe Aviaire" (Birdy Flu) and if we see a dead birdy, we should call the Departement d'Agriculture immediately.

Now I don't speak French, so I can't complain to the Departement d'Agriculture, but every time that wild birdy comes to the window, which is like a thousand times a day, I run to the window to chase it.

Dad: "Jinky! Go get that Birdy!"

Mom: "No, Jinky! Leave my birdy alone! That's MY birdy! He's my little friend! He's a Eurasian Ring- Necked Dove and he knows me. And don't encourage Jinky to go after birds. It's not nice. "

Nice? He's not nice...he's greedy, that's all. He comes around looking to take advantage of Mom. They're saying 140 million people are gonna die from this Birdy Flu!

I've got to convince Mom that this friendship of hers with that incredibly GREEDY birdy could end badly. She's trying to train it to fly into her hand! I'll show that birdy something far worse than Birdy Flu, I will. He won't have time to get Birdy Flu around me. It'll be quick. Then those French Agriculture people can come over here and see what happened. I'll get rid of every bird in France BEFORE the Birdy Flu gets 'em. I'll save all of Europe...And my Mom.

Mom: "Bird flu is so sad. All the chickens in France have to stay indoors now. That's the only life they had before they end up on a plate."

Dad: "Sigh..."

Mom: "What now? Still depressed about not investing in Google? They say the stock is going to lose 50%. That might be a buying dip."

Dad: "No. We're all going to get Bird Flu. We'll be dead soon."

Why can't there be some kind of Mean Person Flu, like Meany-Flu, where only mean people get sick and give it to other mean people? There are at least 140 million mean people in this world, like the ones who bought me and beat me up before I got adopted by Mom and Dad.