Animal Welfare Phonies
When dogs want to find out something about somebody, we just smell their butt. It's fast, it's accurate and it's easy. I can tell right away if a dog is weird, crazy and whether or not I should stay away from him. Humans have all these complicated ways of finding out stuff about other humans that take forever--stuff that we dogs could figure out by smell in two seconds. They use this really stupid way of communicating called social networking. There's this thing called FartBook and every human in the world seems to be hooked on it and they spend lots of time writing all kinds of stupid things on it. It's sort of like a cat who keeps raking the same two inches of kitty litter in the box, over and over. You wonder what the hell they're doing in there.
Well, my mom is on FartBook and she got "unfriended" by a phoney named Pamela Barf. (Being unfriended is no worse than being woken up from a good nap, btw.) So, this Pamela Barf, who my mom met at the Genesis Awards last year (you know, that party where all the humans give themselves awards for doing stuff they should be doing anyway?), had an argument with Mom about Hell and hunting. She told Mom she was going to hell and that hunting is the way to save animals.
She can think what she likes, if she calls that thinking. But she can't fool us dogs into believing her argument that hunting is all that necessary or good for anybody. It's not. It's mean and it's bloody and it's stupid. So some of my dog friends on Fartbook cut and pasted her opinions on hunting and here they are, just in case there was anyone left on this planet who believes that this phony likes animals. And just as a side note? I'm no expert but I bet there's a lot of hunting in hell only it's the hunters who get hunted.