Sarah Palin Pulls Herself Up By Her Own Bra Straps
Dad's on a rampage because of Sarah Palin. He thinks McCain is going to get elected and then his skin disease will kill him, making the hockey mom president of the United States.
Dad: "She's 'ready?' She thinks she's ready? Why? Just because she's confident? She thinks she can deal with Russia because she can see it from Alaska? Hey, I can see the moon! I'm not confident I can get there. I can see Martin Scorcese's house from our house but I'm not confident I can direct a movie. I guess she's confident because George Bush is confident and she thinks that's all it takes. I'll say this, though. George Bush got where he is because of his father but Sarah Palin pulled herself up by her own bra straps."
I really hate her because she likes to kill animals for fun. I've seen pictures of her smiling, kneeling over animals she just killed, like it was fun. Finley and Lamby think she's creepy because she thinks Iditarods are cool. They're not. We dogs hate it. I'd like to strap her to my king sized dog bed and force her to drag me around in the ice from Alaska to Grandma's house in Manhattan. See if she likes it.
I'm really mad at her about the way she treats wolves, too. Wolves are my ancesters, although she doesn't know that because she believes the world is flat and that there's no such thing as evolution. She's not too nice to bears either.
On the way home from the lake, Mom and Dad wanted to stop in Tourettes, just because the village is named after a mental disorder. All the people up there were barking like dogs and swearing, their tongues hanging out. Looked normal to me.
Here's a picture of Sarah Palin's parents at home, surrounded by dead animals. Just over their TV, there's a gruesome decapitatied animal that looks just like my boyfriend Lamby. Some people are are so mean. I might have to go to the post office and send them a package of French dog poop.