Thursday, August 14, 2008

French Whore House and China's Olympian Cruelty to Dogs

My boyfriend Lamby is in France! Mom and Dad and Finn let me bring my boyfriend to Nice so now we are truly a Euro-Pack. Here in France, we have a ménage à cinq (that means five of us doing the humpo-rama)! We're very bad here, worse than in L.A. and we're peeing on all the historical monuments in Nice together.

I don't know if you know this but Lamby is a Bichon Frisé and that's French for Gay, Floofy, French Poodly, Pooftah. This town is FULL of these frou-frou dogs. These frizzy fagdogs were bred for the French royal court but I know where the Lamby really comes from--the pound in L.A. I have to remind him sometimes and put him in his place because his head is so used to getting coiffed, it's getting too big.
There he is, up there on the marble table, getting coiffed, for, like, the millionth time since we got to France.

The Nice, France, Europe house is full of action lately. Mom has had some interesting guests/whores from Los Angeles staying with us. I had to check under one of the whore's sleepy shirts to see what's going on up in there. Weird. Looks like some kind of left over shrimp dish.

My wife Finn likes the whores well enough but doesn't approve of how much they've been drinking. See that beer? It's called 1664. That was how many beers they drank in a couple of days. They couldn't stand up but I hear that's normal for Irish whores.

See? Mom is so drunk she can't even focus. It's a good thing they're having fun while they can. There's a war brewing very close by. There are dogs in Georgia sending very alarming fart signals about the Russians coming into their territory.

Mom's been watching the Olympics but I don't like what's going on in China either. I'm hoping the the American athletes kick their butts because the Chinese clubbed a whole bunch of stray dogs to death near the Olympic village so it would "look nice" for the press.

Whether they club dogs or sell them all cut up in butcher shops is the same to me. Mom told me that when she went there (she used to go to China a lot but stopped because of the way they treat dogs) she saw lots of puppies crammed into baskets. They were for sale in the butcher shop to make stew. The Chinese don't get any gold medal from me. I'm sending my most pungent farty bomb in the direction of Beijing.


Blogger Pisser said...

Jinkay, help me bomb China w/ dog turds! All I need is you (and a plane, and jet Just you and the plane!)

Apt. looks gorgeous!

9:25 AM  
Blogger rita said...

Zippy's with you, Pisser!

I'm not watching the Olympics because the stupid Chinese tried to (and succeeded in many cases) kill our dogs through the stupid stuff they put in dog food. My sister's dog fought it for a year, but they finally got him.

I just can't understand a culture where it's okay to eat cats and dogs.

9:38 AM  

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