Wednesday, November 21, 2007

WGA and Dog Writers of America on STRIKE! Hey Producers! Eat MY Residuals!

The WGA Riots were kind of like Tiananmen Square except we didn't get killed. But then again, I wouldn't even have to riot in China to get clubbed to death by the police. Over there, a dog could just be taking a walk and end up in a soup pot.

That's what's great about America. We can bark as loud as we want. I think it's in the constitution or something like that. You know, liberty and the pursuit of barkiness. The freedom of the Bark Act.

And the right to bear lethal farts.

The Dog Writers of America are on strike and we are supporting the WGA against those fat, greedy producers. They want to give us the equivalent of a teeny, tiny chicken toe nail bone for what we write. And for what we write that shows up on the Internet, they want to give us zero, zilcho, nada bones, not even the tiniest shard of flea bone that was digested a thousand times by an old cat.

I'd like to bite them all in the butt.

Here's what I have to say to the producers, who, by the way, produce a LOT of cat poop:

Hey Producers! Eat MY residuals!

And for those of you who believe that the writers write shows that belong in the litter box, it's the PRODUCERS who dumb it all down! They're the ones ordering the cat poop to begin with! We'd LIKE to write better shows, but guess what? As one WGA writer, Chris Kelly said at the Riot yesterday, "We'd like to, but they won't let us!"

So Mom and Dad dressed us in our 'Hey Producers! Eat my Residuals!' T shirts and off we went to riot on Hollywood Boulevard. We almost got trampled, the riot got so crazy.

As usual, Mom and Dad were fighting the whole time because we parked like a thousand miles away from the march and basically, he wasn't obeying her like she wants him to.

Mom: "Why did you lose sight of David?! That's our ride home! We're going to get stuck here without a way home. Why couldn't we come in our own car?"

Dad just got that look on his face where his chin juts out but he looked like everybody else there who was mad so he fit right in. I don't know who Dad was more mad at, Mom or the producers who are ripping him off.


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