Sailing around Cap d'Antibes and Dad's early retirement plan
Finn just sits in hers and doesn't move at all, which is her default pose whether she's on a boat, in the water, at home or on the street. But at least, when Mom puts us in the water, I don't worry about my wife Finley drowning. I swear, Finley is so heavy, we could use her as an anchor.
Dad has such a good time on our friends' boat that he wants to sell the house and buy a boat instead. Mom doesn't think it's such a great idea. They've been arguing about it non-stop.
Dad: "Well, I was a real idiot not to sell the house at the peak. Now it's worth nothing and it's going to cost me hundreds of thousands of dollars to fix the roof and the deck and the balcony. The housing market is collapsing. I'm thinking we should just sell everything, buy a boat and live on it. "
Mom: "Are you crazy? You don't know the first thing about sailing or navigation. A boat is a hole for money and we'd drown. Plus, you can't even stand to be around me all day in the same house! How will you stand being stuck on a boat? Where will the dogs go to the bathroom? And don't you get sea sick? This is insane! Learn how to sail first. "
Dad: "We can't ever do what I want to do. We only do what you want to do."
Mom: "I saw you on that boat. You showed zero interest in sailing. You hate chores and on a boat, it's nothing BUT chores. Chores in the sun. You've got pink skin and you're bald. You'll get skin cancer."
Melanoma is my early retirement plan."