Now I have an assistant, an agent, a manager, a PR human and ...stalkers.

The book launch was a huge success. Lots and lots of humans and dogs came to my party at Book Soup and bought my book. Mom and Dad read some chapters and so did Bill Maher's Fart doll, JJ Wall (a big, very big, like 100 times bigger than an Irish wolfhound, comedy guy) and Carol Leifer, who has lots of dogs from the pound.

Mom said it looked like the set of a Fellini movie, with all the Beverly Hills ladies with yellow hair, fat lips and tiny dogs in jeweled tote bags.

I peed on some other author's books and then an old, fat basset hound took a giant, stinking dump on a stack of "I Like You" by Amy Sedaris. The reading went well, we got laughs and claps and Kimi Peck, who got me out of the pound said a few words about Chihuahua Rescue, which made everybody get teary eyed about the millions of my old cell mates who are getting killed while we have book parties.

Mom had to sign for me because I don't know how to hold a pen with my rat feet. I've got this dew claw deformity and I can't hold a pen without getting ink all over the place.