Shit eating debutante
I'm a little concerned about my wife Finley. She has a totally revolting habit and I don't know what to do about it. She's on a new kind of weird diet where she recycles her food by eating it twice.
Dad calls her the "shit eating debutante."
You would think that this diet would at least work, but it doesn't. She's getting fatter and fatter. I'm not the kind of Hollywood jerk that will leave my wife for a younger, slimmer model who doesn't eat poop. But it sure is tempting though. Ever since my book came out last week, you wouldn't believe the hot bitches that throw themselves at me in Runyon Canyon. I'm talking Vislas and Saluki bitches, the most beautiful bitches in the world.
But Finley took me in when I was just skin and bones, and had just come off of death row. I had nothing but fleas. I can't take for granted her generosity and how she truly loved me when I was nothing. I'll never forget that, as long as I live.