Sunday, November 12, 2006

Shit eating debutante

I'm a little concerned about my wife Finley. She has a totally revolting habit and I don't know what to do about it. She's on a new kind of weird diet where she recycles her food by eating it twice.

Dad calls her the "shit eating debutante."

You would think that this diet would at least work, but it doesn't. She's getting fatter and fatter. I'm not the kind of Hollywood jerk that will leave my wife for a younger, slimmer model who doesn't eat poop. But it sure is tempting though. Ever since my book came out last week, you wouldn't believe the hot bitches that throw themselves at me in Runyon Canyon. I'm talking Vislas and Saluki bitches, the most beautiful bitches in the world.

But Finley took me in when I was just skin and bones, and had just come off of death row. I had nothing but fleas. I can't take for granted her generosity and how she truly loved me when I was nothing. I'll never forget that, as long as I live.


Blogger Pisser said...

Awww, Jinky is monogomous.

But what about that 3-way with those Chinese crested pervs? ;)

1:28 PM  
Blogger My Cat Ranch said...

Awe, we had a Chiuahua/Pom mix rescue once who recycled her food too. I talked to the vet about it, and he said some dogs are lacking something in their diet that makes them eat it. I don't remember what though, as that was about 14 years ago, and my memory is slipping in my old age. ;)

5:47 PM  
Blogger DezineWiz said...

What ever happend to the steady shot? Spoiled, Hollywood parents can't even shoot right! Couldn't you ask one of your bouncy, flea, Hollywood type friends how to shoot?

Boy, I'm smart! I can't even figure out how to blog! That e-mail to you through here was supposed to be a blog! Humans - dumb animals!

4:13 AM  

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