Fake brain surgery and book launch baloney
This book release thing is getting to be a real circus, which as you know, is no fun for animals. Get this: I might not even be allowed to attend my own event. My picture is on the invite and Mom isn't even sure that I can get in.
I don't even think any of my friends who are dogs can come. This is a load of cat poop.I don't really care but Mom is all worked up. This book is pushing her over the edge because her acting career is in a sinkhole. She's been yelling all day about it to Anna, our housekeeper.
Mom: "Can you believe it? I have a call back for a hospital commercial! I'm supposed to be a 'middle-aged woman who's had brain surgery'! This is what I get called back for! And it's regional, the Bay Area. The other audition I had yesterday was for one line in a Farrely Brothers movie. That wouldn't be so bad, but the character is called 'Busty Hot Tub Woman!' She's supposed to be forty and topless for one scene with Jerry Stiller. Oh Anna, it's the end."
While Mom was putting on her 'middle-aged brain surgery' outfit, Anna cleaned the bathroom mirror and laughed at her. Then Mom started laughing and the two of them couldn't stop.
Mom: (to Anna) "Stop! My mascara is all over my face! I have to stop laughing."
Anna: "Now jew really look like you had brain soorgery! Jew going to get this one for sure!"