Saturday, December 31, 2005


My parents are boring Posted by Picasa

It's New Year's Eve and Mom and Dad can't figure out what to wear. Mom wants to look "nice and hot." So she's now tried on about a thousand different outfits trying to look like both of those things and nothing is working.

Dad's actually going to change. He's going to finally take off his euro-excersize outfit, a sleeveless number that is the exact same color of his skin...pink.

Dad: "I'm going to wear the green plaid jacket."

Mom: "Oh, I LOVE that jacket. You look so handsome and Irish in it."

Then Dad started to shave while Finley barked her head off at the firecrackers and I tried to nap.

Dad: "It's been ten years since my Dad died, ten years that I've had diabetes, I haven't excercized in ten years and I'm a worthless shmuck."

Mom: (painting her face in the mirror) "You have such a low opinion of yourself, you must think I'm really worthless then. I'm just your tick."

Dad: "No, you're a woman. It's a five letter word for tick."

Mom: "That's nice for New Year's Eve. I'm your tick. Thanks a lot. "

Dad: (wiping the rest of the shaving cream off his face) "I'm just lucky some dumber people than me gave me a lot of money. Money made by people smarter than both of us."

Mom: "So you're a worthless shmuck and I'm your tick."

Dad: "That's right, I'm a piece of shit with a lot of money and you're the tick that feeds off me."

3 Comments:

Blogger Yeah, him. said...

Happy new year no matter what you are!

6:29 PM  
Blogger Pisser said...

Wow, you're pretty cute for an Irish shmuck and a shmuck-tick that actually feeds off poo :)

What IS it with you two and bugs, anyway...?

11:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jinky what is going on with your book deal? Is your book going to be released?

4:45 AM  

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