Live Free or Die

Live Free or Die

We finally found our hotel, the Spruce Moose. The people here are cozy, flannel-wearing dog lovers. We have a big cabin with couches and beds and there is a kitchen. It's a fantastic place, completely surrounded by woods, very few people and lots of wild animals, even bears. But as usual, my people are complaining again. They're never satisfied.

Mom: "Oh my god. Look at these silly curtains. They've got ruffles and pom poms. Can you imagine having this beautiful view of the woods and hiding it with ruffles?"

Dad: "Yup, it's all pretty corny up here in winky world. It's sad to come back here and realize that everything I thought was good was really shit. Let's go to dinner."

Mom: "What the hell would I wear here? There's no glamour."

They got really hungry from all the criticizing so we all walked to the little town for dinner.

As soon as they got served, it started again.

Mom: "Yuck! My butternut squash soup is full of sugar! They made it with maple syrup. Can you believe it? They put a fried apple fritter covered in sugar in it. I can't eat this, it's poison."

Dad: "This is supposed to be the best restaurant in town. My fish is like a dried up brick. I don't know what they did to it."

Mom: "If I'm going to be this far from a city, I want to at least see a live moose."

Dad: "You did. The waitress who just served your maple syrup soup."

The next morning, we drove to the coast and ran on the big, wide beach at Ogunquit. It was the greatest beach I ever ran on. Unbelievable traction, world class seagull chasing, perfect sand consistency and cool, breezy salt air.

I felt like a big, strong, north east beast, like I could jump as high as the sky.

It might be the worst Fall foliage Season in history, but I love New England. There's no pollution, the water in the creeks is crystal clear and delicious and the people aren't phony show business dummies.

What they say in New Hampshire makes a lot of sense to someone like me, having done time on death row. “Live free or die.”