Monday, September 26, 2005

Our neighbors in the Hollywood Hills are “saving up to buy a Poodle puppy.” What a waste of money. Poodle puppies can cost over a thousand dollars. And by buying a dog, these nitwits are adding to the problem by giving money to jerks who breed more and more dogs who end up being homeless like I was.

“Love thy neighbor” is one of the ten commandments but that rule ought to be broken if your neighbor is an idiot. Here’s why:

There are thousands of Poodles (and every other kind of dog) who have been abandoned and who are sitting in the pound right now, waiting for someone to come and save them. If someone doesn’t come and get them out of there now, they might get the lethal injection. I know they execute human criminals in some states, but none of my cell mates were criminals. They were all innocent. They were just nice dogs who were thrown away like garbage.

Celebrities who buy dogs as accesories should be squirted with cat pee. That Paris Hilton is such a dumbass. Why couldn’t she take take one of the million dogs who are on death row? Why don’t these idiots just go to Petfinder.com? They can get any kind of pure bred dog they’re looking for. It’s like a giant bargain bin on the Internet where you can find really good dogs. By the way, I’ve been to Paris. It’s a classy place. Her name should be Burbank Hilton.


Don’t the nitwits who buy puppies know that in a couple of months, the puppy turns into a dog anyway? I’m way cuter now than when I was a puppy. Ask Finley or any of the other bitches around Hollywood. Plus, when I was adopted, I was already past the puppy phase of chewing up Manolo Blahniks (those $700 spiked sandals Mom wore on Sex and the City).

The Talmud has a saying that could help a lot of dogs:

“If you save one life, it is as if you saved the whole world."

2 Comments:

Blogger Pisser said...

Jinkay, you are my hero-!

I get really steamed up by these breeders - and the idiots who buy from them, too. It's snob appeal, that's all.

A guy I work with breeds pugs and says when they're "ready" like they're a loaf of bread! I can't believe people are still breeding, especially with all the homeless animals who were victims of the hurricane(s). It should be against the law if Americans were progressive-minded AT ALL and not a bunch of hurtful, capitalistic pigs-!

I like Burbank Hilton but I think she is more like North Hollywood, at the corner of liquor store x liquor store, near the dirty curb w/ a used condom. HATE that rich purse-dog toting bitch. >:P

10:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Love ya Jinky!

I volunteer at Chi Rescue and I was just totally dumbfounded that Burbank Hilton had the audacity to dump Tinkerbell in favor of a new dog because Tinky got too big... at 3.5 lbs!!!

Burbank Hilton is a fitting name for her since crazy insane batshit people live there.

1:08 PM  

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