Monday, August 08, 2005

Human waste

I like to follow Mom around the house. I sit on the marble table while she works because even if there's no food, it's cool. I even go and sit by the toilet when Mom goes in the bathroom. This morning, Mom was in the bathroom a long time, reading a giant book. Dad came in.

Mom: "Can you please give me some privacy, get out and close the door?"

Dad: "What are you doing, having an ass baby?"

Mom: "The only baby I'll ever have."

Dad: "Too old to have any other kind of baby."

Mom:"That's not true!"

Dad: "Well maybe if I can squeeze out the last few drops of schizophrenic retard jizz, you can have a real baby."

Mom: "You're revolting. Get out. I'm never going to finish this book before we leave. I'm only on page 487."

People are so weird. They read instead of doing stuff. They like to look at millions of words and read about stuff other people are doing. Sometimes, they read even crazier things, like what people were doing hundreds of years ago. I don't get why they spend all this time on useless thinking and worrying. All that matters is today. Where are we going now and when are we going to eat something yummy?


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