Sunday, January 04, 2004

We went to Montecito to visit Grandad and went to the BEACH! It's absolutely incredible that there is such a thing as sand. It's soft and you can run on it all day without hurting your feet. And there is a gigantic water that keeps moving and chasing you back and forth. you can't drink it or Mommy screams at you but I've never had so much fun, ever.

Finley had a blast too even though she's a fat, slow moving bowling ball with hair. She got into the rat hunting in the rocks.

Mom and Dad got a new camera and took movies of us running around. They talked about getting a house in Normandy, wherever that is, just so we can go to the beach.

I had a 'breakthrough" and made a connection with my grandad. I usually don't like anyone but Mom and Dad, but Grandad is ok. He's got lots of great food up there like cherry pie and whipped cream and good couches.

I like the grandad's dog too. He's got a Kelpie, an australian sheep dog, that Mom found in the street. His name is Shadow and he had been shot before Mom found him. He's much taller, darker, and better looking than me. He pees higher and shits bigger. He keeps kissing my mom and he better stop.

Shadow can run faster than any dog I've ever seen. I think he runs faster than birds fly. I saw him outrun a seagull.

It was fun getting out of Hollywood for the day. The poor snotty kitty had to stay home. Zelda the cat "has a respiratory disorder", which makes her snot all over the walls, counters and wood floors. Finley thinks her snots are like gummy bears and she runs whenever kitty sneezes. She runs over and licks them right off the wall, or wherever they land. Her snots are huge, greenish, viscous gooey things that she shoots across the room through her nose.

The kitty yelled at us good and loud when we got back from the beach. I like to chase her and stick my nose up her ass. It pisses her off and makes Mom laugh.

Dad has to go back to work tomorrow and he's been whining about it, which drives Mom crazy. "I'll trade with you," says Mom. "I'l go and make $900 an hour sitting around with my friends, writing a hit ABC show and you stay home and pick up shit and hair balls and wait for the agent to not call."


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