Pound Dog Dry Humps His Hero Scotland Haisley and Lady Kaka

Kristina Bowman, Scotlund Haisley, Carole Davis and Carole Sax

I got to meet one of my heroes yesterday, Scotlund Haisley. I was too shy to shake his hand and didn't want to act like the starstruck pound dog that I am but my boyfriend Lamby (the Bichon) took total advantage of the situation and sort of dry humped him. In case you don't know who Scotland is, he's the kick-ass dude who busts puppy mills and he's also a painter. To me, he's like Leonardo Dogvinci meets BraveFart all in one. All the dogs there were super jealous because that hairless runt who is staying with Carole Sax got to be in his lap.

Those Xolo dogs are weird. They're hairless and they have blackheads.

Lamby got overexcited meeting Scotlund and when we got home, he wouldn't shut up about it to everybody in the house. Then he crashed on his couch, and rolled his eyes in the back of his head. He started getting all twitchy and we knew he was having inappropriate dreams of busting puppy mills and spooning with Scotlund.

My Dad's shows (Bothers and 'Til Death) didn't get picked up, that makes two in a row now so Dad is kind of retired. He can now go back to his regular work of complaining about everything and making hundreds of trips to Home Depot to buy stuff that ends up in boxes in the shed.

We've had a lot of rain lately here in L.A. and Mom made me a useless new raincoat out of bubble wrap. She thinks it's chic but I think I look like Lady Kaka.

Jinky, Dog of a Hollywood Wife

Lamby won't leave me alone since Mom dressed me up as Lady Kaka. I'm getting dry humped big time. But he doesn't know I hate it, just look at my Poker Face.