Monday, October 18, 2004

Show Biz Jerks Are Coming

Jesus. I hear we're going to have another one of those mind numbingly dull Hollywood pitch meetings at the house tonight. Last Comic Standing's Gary Gulman will be here with his manager and a bunch of other show biz nitwits.

I hate it when these people take over the couch and gas about how their show is going to get on the air. They are such windbags, hovering over the coffee table, stuffing their faces with giant globs of cheese--going on and on about how funny they think their stupid show is.

To give you an idea of just how moronic this show idea is, the dog in the show is 20 years old and incontinent. This story point is supposed to make one of the characters more "likeable." (not the dog, I imagine) An old stinking dog with rotting teeth and diapers is supposed to make me want to tune in?

Another thing that bothers me about the rotting dog character on the show is how they talk about him/her. It's just wrong to make fun of a helpless and feeble creature that is slowly decomposing in the corner of a set on a sit-com. Is the lead character supposed to trip over it? Does that get a canned laugh? Is the character who owns the wretched mutt supposed to be praised for keeping it around long after its allure has gone?

Does the grizzled toothless canine actor or actress get some good lines, or even a decent salary? We don't have a union, you know.

These people are truly sickening.

On top of that, these show biz dimwits never pay any attention to me when they come over here to MY house.

That's it. Tonight, I'm making some demands. They are to serve me some melted cheese and make room for me on MY fucking couch, god damn it. Another thing: they are to leave by 10PM, which is called Minky Time around here.


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